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Unread 06-24-2013, 06:04 PM   #1
AuraLucario7
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Crossplay issues: need advice!

HeyÖ so hereís the thing. Iíve been contemplating crossplay for about a year now, but there have been some issues. Itís really hard for me to get this off my chest, but I desperately need some feedback. Crossdressing has been a major personal problem for some time. Itís caused a lot of emotional problems on top things Iím already dealing with. Other than a therapist and occasionally my mom, I have no one I can open up to about this. I have no one who can really help me. I have extremely low self-esteem, so I am just kinda nervous about how others will perceive it. Regarding my body shape, Iím a bit overweight and have body hair (I would figure pick cosplays that cover that up or use cover ups).

As much as I anticipate crossplaying, I am still very nervous and weary. I donít know what to expect. I donít know what kind of reactions Iíll get.

So what Iím asking is just what kind of experiences would I expect? Negative, Positive, or Neutral? Whatís it like crossplaying for the first time? Should I be weary?

I know this isnít a psychiatry forum or anything, but I really need some advice.
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Unread 06-24-2013, 08:07 PM   #2
Ilafatyu
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Nobody's ever called me out on crossplaying (Female to male), and the crossplayer guys I know don't have much negative to say either. It's just an accepted thing at conventions. The only problems you'd have are outside conventions, like getting something to eat.

Are you hesitant on crossplaying, against it, or want to but aren't sure about it?
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Unread 06-24-2013, 09:35 PM   #3
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Specifically for crossplay (ftm) I have always been met with either enthusiasm or indifference (ie they don't mind particularly). This is just my personal experience at major cons here in my part of the world. I have never had a negative experience within the con. As for mtf, my boyfriend has gone to a con in a dress and met with enthusiasm and hugs. Crossplay seems to be an acceptable and celebrated part of conventions. They are super happy to see a character they love and to be honest I find people are even more impressed by those who go above the and beyond, and cosplay something is quite difficult, including cosplaying the opposite gender. As for body shape it should not play a part in being able to cosplay something, as cosplay is about celebrating your fandom. Cosplay goes beyond race, gender and body type.
There is always the person who wants to be a miserable jerk and treat with you disrespect, like in all hobbies and fandoms, but they are a definite minority. We ignore those and don't let them ruin our day.
As above your biggest concern is outside of conventions. It's avoidable by getting ready nearby or within the con and driving there so you never need to come into contact with general public.
You are always more than welcome to PM me for a chat as I do crossplay in and outside of conventions and have some experience with both ftm (personally) and mtf (on behalf of my partner).
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Last edited by Chryso : 06-24-2013 at 09:44 PM.
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Unread 06-24-2013, 09:43 PM   #4
Isikaru
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Female to male crossplay doesn't get much crap, but male to female...I'm willing to bet people are not as open about that.

At most conventions I've been to I haven't seen people bring rude to male-female crossplayers. I have heard remarks behind their backs (my friend doesn't handle crossplay well), but for the most part it looks like if you stick with certain people you won't get judged and will meet plenty of people that love you for what you do. I'm betting you'd get a rude comment every now and again, but I don't see why you should care about what insecure, close-minded people think anyway. I think more people like it or are unfazed by it than the people who hate it. At least nowadays.

Go for it if it's what you want to do! Your family or norms might not like it, but there are plenty of congoers that will help.

Last edited by Isikaru : 06-24-2013 at 09:47 PM.
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Unread 06-24-2013, 10:49 PM   #5
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What the above posters have said is absolutely true. The overwhelming majority of con-goers you see are among the most accepting bunch one could ask for. Anime conventions are all about going outside the norm, celebrating fandom, and seeing things you don't normally see in day-to-day life. While Female-to-Male crossplay has existed for a long time, with many people not batting an eye at the concept, Male-to-Female crossplay is definitely on the upturn and gaining steam. I recently crossplayed MtF for the first time, and was met with friendly greetings from fans of my character that any cosplayer would want. I was extremely nervous my first time as well, but as soon as I got out there and experienced it, I couldn't be more pleased. You just need to be confident, follow the advice that other peeps have said, and just go out to your favorite con and enjoy yourself!
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Unread 06-25-2013, 01:01 AM   #6
Kelley
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Your post makes me wonder if you're going through problems because of being transgender, genderqueer, or just cross-dressing to express something of yourself that you normally would be looked down upon for in daily life (any of them are fine).

If you want to talk about it, feel free.

If those are the "issue", I would encourage you to talk about it and go through your concerns based around that because I feel like if that is the case it's important to address those issues and expectations before you put yourself out in public because you'll be in a very different state of mind from someone who is just doing it "for fun" or similar. When it's something that is heavily tied to your identity and sense of self it can be a more delicate subject and experience.
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Unread 06-25-2013, 03:12 PM   #7
PolyVinylAres
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I can tell you that I'm a utterly non-passing male-to-female crossplayer, but I still get great reactions from folks. The few negative reactions are easy to brush off after a dozen excited requests for pictures. Just do your best with your costume and be proud of it at the con - remember that your cosplay is for you. People react well to someone who acts confident and positive, no matter what they are doing,
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Unread 06-26-2013, 01:56 AM   #8
Kelley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyVinylAres View Post
People react well to someone who acts confident and positive, no matter what they are doing,
Totally agree.
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Unread 06-30-2013, 01:21 PM   #9
AuraLucario7
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Thank you all for the feedback. It means a lot to me. Regarding what Kelley said, yes I'd say, it does go more than just " for fun". It has more to do with sexuality than anything, so it is much harder for me to crossplay than someone who does it just "for fun". I'm just in a time in my life where I severely lack self-confidence. So at this point I'd say hold off, but it doesn't mean never. My initial plan was to give it a few months and hopefully go from there. I do really want to crossplay, but I'm just unsure of myself at this point. Again, I sincerely thank you for your feedback.
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Unread 06-30-2013, 07:31 PM   #10
AuraLucario7
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Thank you all very much for the feedback. . Regarding what Kelley said, there is more to it than someome who does it just "for fun". Its more of a sexuality thing than anything. Its much harder than someone who does it "for fun". Another thing is I severely lack self-confidence. I feel at this point I'm not ready to crossplay, but it doesn't mean I never will. I'm probably gonna give it a few months and hopefully go from there.
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Unread 07-01-2013, 12:19 PM   #11
ImNewHere
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Go out there and own it. Expect girls to come up and compliment you. Children will come up and tell you have a pretty dress/outfit, and that you look pretty. In all my years of doing it I've had 5 negative reactions to me doing it. Remember, if they don't like it it's their problem, not yours.
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Unread 07-01-2013, 01:12 PM   #12
Apple Adams
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If you put sincere effort into it, people treat you like a celebrity. I had only one negative encounter with a con staffer earlier this year, but the rest of the convention was so embracing of crossplay. Hell, even random families with children at the adjacent hotel wanted to take my picture!

The fact is, a lot of people don't find cross dressing offensive anymore (as they shouldn't). More often, they're impressed by the amount of work that goes into it.
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Unread 07-02-2013, 10:56 AM   #13
PolyVinylAres
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apple Adams View Post
If you put sincere effort into it, people treat you like a celebrity.
It's true. At this year's Anime Mid-Atlantic, the hotel manager stopped my girlfriend and I to take pictures of us in our matching maid dresses; and on Sunday, when I was in t-shirt and jeans, people stopped me and asked eagerly if I'd be dressing up again later
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Unread 07-09-2013, 12:24 AM   #14
ponpon
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Well I cosplayed/crossplayed for the first time this past weekend, and it's been mostly positive. However there were some negative reactions. Mainly from men mistaking me for a girl and asking to take my pic, then they realize I'm a guy and they're like.. nah nevermind haha or one guy asked me who I was and I was like Bridget from Guilty Gear X2 in my male voice and he's like Woah! uh.. that's cool then he leaves lol which is fine. Most of the guys I've encountered were pretty cool with it, I've had no negative responses from females though, only compliments.

I also think that confidence plays a big role. When I'm walking alone I'm usually quiet and have a stoic look on my face, but when I'm hanging around somebody smiling and having fun now all of a sudden everybody wants to take a pic of me. I don't know why that is, maybe it's the universe and the vibes you send but when you look like you're enjoying yourself and having fun, people tend to gravitate towards you more.
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Unread 07-09-2013, 12:26 AM   #15
PolyVinylAres
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ponpon View Post
when you look like you're enjoying yourself and having fun, people tend to gravitate towards you more.
Truer words were never spoken. Well done, and congratulations on your first crossplay!
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