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Unread 07-30-2013, 05:55 PM   #1
ChibiDannimon
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Hard time fitting in

I feel like I dont belong.

Why bother explaining myself. Its like nobody cares.
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Unread 07-30-2013, 06:00 PM   #2
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Are you talking about in general, the cosplay community specifically, your school/work... Where is the disconnect?

If you're talking about not fitting into normal social circles because you're a cosplayer, then I think there are probably a lot of people here that can relate. And maybe if you don't think you fit in to the cosplay community, there's some dialogue there that can be started.

But your post is too vague to really generate a good discussions, so give us some more to work with!
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Unread 07-30-2013, 06:02 PM   #3
ChibiDannimon
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Cosplay community in general. Like I want to participate in Group cosplays because of the characters I cosplay as but it seems like I either dont get invited or when I try to start one of my own, nobody cares or wants to participate.

And when it comes to meetups, everybody is way out in the Chicago Suburbs and cant make it to downtown where I live. And the ones that do live downtown or the inner city, are too busy working.
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2014 Cosplays


Black Widow - The Avengers (Comic Book Version)
Sailor Galaxia - Sailor Stars
Rosa/Mei - Pokemon Black and White 2
Finn - Adventure Time
Ben Tennyson - Ben 10 Omniverse
Takato - Digimon 03
Rei Ryugazaki - Free!
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Unread 07-30-2013, 06:22 PM   #4
adamphillip
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Do you like cosplaying?
don't let other people get in the way of something you want to do.
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Unread 07-30-2013, 06:23 PM   #5
SweeneyTodd
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I've wanted to do group cosplays as well and have not been invited into any groups, but I don't see that as a sign of not fitting in. It's just that getting a good cosplay group together is actually really hard since most of the time the people who do want to be a part of the group are all pretty far apart from each other.

And you can't do anything about your location in relation to the rest of the cosplayers. The fact that you can't go to meetups because they aren't located in a convenient spot for you has nothing to do with you "fitting in" or not. That's just a location problem. To solve this problem, either find a way to get out of the city of Chicago (maybe carpool with someone or take the Amtrak trains), or try participating in the FB groups and suggesting more central city locations (I am part of the Wisconsin Cosplay Meetups group and often people there are open to new location suggestions). I know if I knew of cosplay meetups within the center of Chicago I would definitely go to those because it's really easy for me to get from where I live in WI to downtown Chicago.

How do you feel at conventions though? Can you talk to people easily at cons and make friends? Because these two problems you mentioned don't seem to me like they have anything to do with not being able to "fit in" with this community.
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Unread 07-30-2013, 07:20 PM   #6
ChibiDannimon
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Sigh
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2014 Cosplays


Black Widow - The Avengers (Comic Book Version)
Sailor Galaxia - Sailor Stars
Rosa/Mei - Pokemon Black and White 2
Finn - Adventure Time
Ben Tennyson - Ben 10 Omniverse
Takato - Digimon 03
Rei Ryugazaki - Free!
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Unread 07-30-2013, 07:23 PM   #7
ChibiDannimon
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I just needed to vent this out.
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2014 Cosplays


Black Widow - The Avengers (Comic Book Version)
Sailor Galaxia - Sailor Stars
Rosa/Mei - Pokemon Black and White 2
Finn - Adventure Time
Ben Tennyson - Ben 10 Omniverse
Takato - Digimon 03
Rei Ryugazaki - Free!
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Unread 07-30-2013, 07:29 PM   #8
adamphillip
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better?
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Yes I am an attention seeker so what?
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Unread 07-30-2013, 07:29 PM   #9
Swordmaster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibiDannimon View Post
I just needed to vent this out.

THEN SPEAK MAN. SPEAK!

Obviously you haven't told us everything that's on your mind, right? I'm sure you can elaborate. If you're still sighing, you've got more on your mind.
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Unread 07-30-2013, 07:43 PM   #10
MirniMausi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swordmaster View Post
THEN SPEAK MAN. SPEAK!

Obviously you haven't told us everything that's on your mind, right? I'm sure you can elaborate. If you're still sighing, you've got more on your mind.
THIS.
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Unread 07-30-2013, 08:18 PM   #11
sandra03
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it's hard to bust into an established group or clique. i think your best bet is for each con that you plan to go to, check their forum and facebook page for people looking to add members to a group. I noticed there are loads of them for otakon, either asking for more people to join a group, or people looking for a group to join/start. if you can't find people in your neighbourhood maybe it's better to meet up with people at cons that don't live in your area. many people travel all over for cons so there's the potential to get in with a good active group that you can meet up with a few times a year. it may not be perfect since you can't call them up and go hang out any random weekend, but it would give you someone to talk to with your interests and something to look forward to
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Unread 07-30-2013, 08:35 PM   #12
ChibiDannimon
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Basically Im upset because Im having a hard time trying to break into the cosplay groups. I thought it would be easier finding like-minded cosplaying otaku considering that I live in the third largest city in America but apparently the groups that do exist are either hardcore Steampunk cosplayers, cosplayers who only stick to comic book characters, cosplayers from the far suburbs where its inaccessible to public transit *I dont own a car and I have no friends who have cars either* and the few people I know that cosplay, they dont cosplay mainstream anime like I do.

As far as conventions go, I meet lots of great cosplayers at the photoshoots and gatherings and of course being a photographer I hand people my business cards containing my facebook and whatnot. But as far as anything beyond that, nothing. They are busy with their own lives and thats understandable we got school and bills to pay.

You look on the facebook events list and its completely empty with no new meetups in sight then see your facebook feed only to see pictures of people at meetups that you were not invited to it just pisses me off. When I try to form my own groups or create even a small meetup, like I said before nobody shows up and I get every excuse in the book, then later on find out that theres other events going on at the same time.

You know what else thats driving me crazy. I CANT EVEN COSPLAY IN MY OWN HOUSE BECUASE RENT IN CHICAGO IS SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE UNLESS I MOVE INTO A GANG-INFESTED GHETTO.
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2014 Cosplays


Black Widow - The Avengers (Comic Book Version)
Sailor Galaxia - Sailor Stars
Rosa/Mei - Pokemon Black and White 2
Finn - Adventure Time
Ben Tennyson - Ben 10 Omniverse
Takato - Digimon 03
Rei Ryugazaki - Free!
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Unread 07-30-2013, 09:47 PM   #13
ChibiDannimon
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I knew people wouldnt care.....
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2014 Cosplays


Black Widow - The Avengers (Comic Book Version)
Sailor Galaxia - Sailor Stars
Rosa/Mei - Pokemon Black and White 2
Finn - Adventure Time
Ben Tennyson - Ben 10 Omniverse
Takato - Digimon 03
Rei Ryugazaki - Free!
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Unread 07-30-2013, 10:04 PM   #14
FuntomKitten
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibiDannimon View Post
I knew people wouldnt care.....
This honestly makes me think you're just grabbing for attention. This isn't the place for it.

You know what you have to do? Get out there. Meet people. Initiate conversations. Make lasting friendships. If you aren't good friends with anyone, you won't be able to squeeze into anything. Is it hard? Yeah. Can it be nerve-wracking? Hell yeah! Friendships are trial and error. Some people will like you, some won't. You just have to keep trying. You WILL get along well with someone eventually. You have to be able to take rejection every now and then; it's life.
Sitting here posting on a forum won't help. Whining about nobody including you doesn't help, and that will only make people pity you, not befriend you. You have to make good friends to be included into a community and invited to the events pertaining to that community. That's just how it works.

This may seem harsh, but really. Sitting where you are feeling lonely and sorry for yourself won't change a damn thing. You HAVE to put yourself out there for people to notice you and want to befriend you. You may not be able to go to all the gatherings and meetups but you have the internet. Post things you like. Talk about cons you're going to. Have conversations and find people to befriend. You may make friends who let you stay over and go to meetups with them, or invite people to come to ones you make.

But you aren't doing anything to help make that happen by sitting here feeling sorry for yourself.
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Unread 07-30-2013, 10:13 PM   #15
Swordmaster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibiDannimon View Post
Basically Im upset because Im having a hard time trying to break into the cosplay groups. I thought it would be easier finding like-minded cosplaying otaku considering that I live in the third largest city in America but apparently the groups that do exist are either hardcore Steampunk cosplayers, cosplayers who only stick to comic book characters, cosplayers from the far suburbs where its inaccessible to public transit *I dont own a car and I have no friends who have cars either* and the few people I know that cosplay, they dont cosplay mainstream anime like I do.

As far as conventions go, I meet lots of great cosplayers at the photoshoots and gatherings and of course being a photographer I hand people my business cards containing my facebook and whatnot. But as far as anything beyond that, nothing. They are busy with their own lives and thats understandable we got school and bills to pay.

You look on the facebook events list and its completely empty with no new meetups in sight then see your facebook feed only to see pictures of people at meetups that you were not invited to it just pisses me off. When I try to form my own groups or create even a small meetup, like I said before nobody shows up and I get every excuse in the book, then later on find out that theres other events going on at the same time.

You know what else thats driving me crazy. I CANT EVEN COSPLAY IN MY OWN HOUSE BECUASE RENT IN CHICAGO IS SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE UNLESS I MOVE INTO A GANG-INFESTED GHETTO.
It's pretty natural for cosplayers to be separated by distance, as it is with most things. Heck, I once made friends that were like an hour and a bit away from me by car, but - as a kid - I still went to visit them for birthdays, skits and all that stuff. Make compromises and be resourceful.

Also, business cards, what? To be honest, getting a business card from someone is sort of a putoff unless I'm looking for someone to do something. I mean, giving a business card to bros and brahs is just... yeeeeaaaaaah. Know what you're looking for; are you looking for friendship or for a job? I'd stake it on friendship, so just chill with the work ambition and relax (in my opinion, at least).

Now, I know that feel, not being invited to some cool shake that's goin' down, but you can't let that get you down. It's also not as if you can just randomly pop out of nowhere and organize something. You need to take the right steps if you want to be part of something.

If you want to be part of a group, just relax and have fun with the people there. Yeah, there may be cases when you're not the ideal person to call on for a party, but you can still make a small effort. Right? Connect with people, not with yourself and your pessimism.

If you want to head something, you gotta have a ton of stuff, but it's pretty easily doable. People, place, something and an idea. Who will come? Find them, advertise, hype it. Where are you gonna meet up? Why are you going to meet up/what are you going to do? It has to be something appealing. Charisma is a big part of this, along with resources and how cool you are with planning stuff like that.

All-in-all, I'd say just chill for a moment and let the group carry you for a moment.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibiDannimon View Post
I knew people wouldnt care.....

If people didn't care, why have a good handful of people replied to the topic?

Just chill. (And take a shot of tequila. Only joking, I shouldn't be encouraging people to get krunk.)
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