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Unread 08-19-2014, 12:08 PM   #1
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My friend gets annoyed?

Okay, so as some of you know I was dressed as Princess Zelda for a convention. It was a homemade costume, and I think it was very well done. A lot of other people also thought that, it seems. I got stopped a lot for people to take a quick photo, and I also got photos with other people. My friend did not find this to be very amusing, though, since she was the only one I was with and therefore took some of the pictures. She also didn't get stopped much for photos. Very rapidly she got tired of me being stopped, since she also had to stop. I am going to wear the costume at our next convention, but how do I keep the peace? I also want her and I to do photo shoots of eachother in costume, but I'm scared she will be upset.
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Unread 08-19-2014, 12:33 PM   #2
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Honestly, it sounds like your friend is the one who has problems if she's feeling jealous of the attention your costume got. If it was because you don't know how to say no and she was getting impatient because there was somewhere she wanted to be, or something she wanted to see, and you kept holding her up, then I would say maybe next time you need to take that into consideration and tell photographers no thanks, or maybe later. Or you can tell her you'll split up and meet back up later.

She might be okay with doing a photo shoot together because you would get equal attention. Bring it up calmly and talk it out with neutral language, and let her know you felt some negative vibes at the last con and ask if she wants to tell you how she felt about it. I'm an impatient person, myself, and I know sometimes when I'm at a con with a large group, I feel like I'm herding cats. Eventually I just give up and go off on my own to see things I want to see without having to wait for everyone else. When you're the person who's holding things up because you keep saying okay to stop for pictures, you need to be conscious that it might annoy your friend because you're her only buddy and she wants to do other things.

You can't control who asks you or your friend to stop for photos, all you can do is control the way you treat your friend. Give her more of your attention if that's what she needs, or assume the photographers want you both in the picture and just pull her in too. If she feels left out, there are lots of ways you can include her instead of being a solo camwhore.
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Last edited by dizzymonochrome : 08-19-2014 at 12:36 PM.
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Unread 08-19-2014, 12:39 PM   #3
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The way I see it...It's not your fault if people like your cosplay. You worked hard on it, so you shouldn't feel bad about getting asked for pictures. I understand the dilemma, though. At the last con I went to, a girl friend and I cosplayed from Magi. She was magician uniform Aladdin, I was Hakuei. I got a lot more pictures and attention than she did, and I felt very conflicted. On one hand, my costume was a lot more elaborate and I had spent more time working on it. On the other, she's one of my best friends and I could tell that she was disappointed every time I got asked for photos instead of her.

But in the end, there's not much you can do about it. Unless you throw on a bitch face to keep people from asking you for photos, but....then you don't get photos of your cosplay. Maybe see if you can talk to her about it? Make sure she knows you're aware that it bothered her, and it wasn't your intention to upset her or anything?
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Unread 08-19-2014, 04:06 PM   #4
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Okay, thank you both.
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Unread 08-19-2014, 05:57 PM   #5
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Another option for you is cosplaying a matching set of characters-- then you can both jump into photos together!
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Unread 08-20-2014, 10:42 AM   #6
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I try to get her in as many photos as I can, but she was dressed up from something completely different so it was hard to do.
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Unread 08-20-2014, 01:11 PM   #7
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honestly? tell her to get over it. lol. maybe this is just me, but this seems outrageously snobby. if you have an awesome cosplay and people want to take pictures of you, they should have every right to. if she wants more people to take pictures of her, then she should try to cosplay something more popular or more extravagant so that more people are interested in it. but regardless of what she chooses it isn't your responsibility to make sure her ego is well-fed during the course of the con.
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Unread 02-16-2015, 02:54 PM   #8
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I've had the same thing happen. I went as Super Sailor Moon and my friend as Garrett from Thief. Her costume was great, but Sailor Moon was just so much more recognizable.
I felt really bad for her because she put a lot of work into her outfit and only had a handful of people taking a picture of her.
The thing is self confidence. Of course it's nice if people love your costume, but it shouldn't get you down when they don't recognize it.
(Yeah I know... easier said then done, I've had those moments, too.)

Before the con we made sure that she has a photoshoot of her own which I didn't, I think that helped.
Maybe you should try to find a photographer who is willing to have a mini shooting with your friend? I bet that would make her feel better
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Unread 06-16-2015, 03:58 AM   #9
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I always take pics of the group or the cosplayers together and I usually ask for pics of the the ones I can tell worked hard on thier cosplay but may not get as much attention it really makes thier day
This girl was virtually ignored and it made her day to be asked for a photo and to tell them nice job on the costume they spend time on putting together



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Unread 11-25-2015, 11:15 PM   #10
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I think you both have to realize that you don't need to be together at all times. It sounds like a jealousy problem. I know if you're not cosplaying a popular character, you might not be asked for a picture very often, or if your cosplay is not very well done.

If you both wander off from each other a bit, you might be more likely to make new friends also!
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Unread 11-26-2015, 01:58 AM   #11
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This is why my brother and I like to go matching.

We've cosplayed two sets of characters before, and in both cases my cosplays demanded more attention - for one, between our characters, I'm the one people...actually remember existed...and for the other, everyone and their grandmother cosplays his character, while mine, though he's popular-ish with the fandom, isn't frequently spotted. Still, because we go together, he gets noticed. It mitigates the unevenness problem.

If you're going with someone who's insecure over uneven attention like that, I cannot recommend group cosplay enough.
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Unread 12-07-2015, 09:52 AM   #12
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If you have a cool cosplay people will stop you. As said before my sister and I often try to match. People will normally ask for both of us in the photo. But the lower the craftsmanship I often find the lower amount of people who want my photo. It sounds like she's jelous. You should tell her that if she wants to be stopped for photos she needs to work on a cosplay to show piece as well. If not she will be the person people ask to take photos.
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Unread 12-26-2015, 01:28 AM   #13
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As much as it sucks, there really isn't much you can do besides try talking with her and asking why she is upset and what you can do. Figure it out from there but if it's just because she wants to go somewhere fast- let her know she can walk ahead of you or even say no to the picture. You're not obligated to stop for every picture though I like to say yes whenever since I haven't had a really popular one yet. The only time I said no was when my ex was freaking out in a crowd and needed to get out of there.

I hope that you were able to talk it out though with them and figure out a solution!
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Unread 01-19-2016, 05:44 PM   #14
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Like most people have said, it does sounds likes she's jealous. On the other hand, another part of me says that she's just very hurt by being left out of pictures with you.

I know people would probably disagree with me on that, but I can't tell you how many times people don't get their picture taken just because their cosplay isn't elaborate enough. With me, I make sure to include everyone in my videos and pictures.

If she's mad because she wanted to be somewhere, then you and she could have easily met up at an area afterwards. If she's mad because she wanted more pictures of herself, then she needs to get over it.

I cosplay characters I know that either very few people would recognize me or a lot of people aren't going to recognize me, but it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I expect it.

So, all in all. Getting your picture taken in your cosplay is great, but it's not something to get mad over
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Unread 01-26-2016, 01:26 PM   #15
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I have been on both sides of this situation. It's not your fault that people liked your costume; it's possible she didn't get stopped as often because people didn't know what she was cosplaying. It happens, and her getting mad about it is just silly. She should be happy for you. Jealously is natural, but if she's going to let her jealously sour her mood, that is her problem.

I find a good way to mitigate annoyance is to split up for a while. That way you can hang around and get photos done, and she can wander around and draw more people towards her for photos instead of you. It's way easier to split up for a bit and meet up later for an event or panel you both want to go to. I actually find it really fun to wander about on my own for a bit anyway.
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