Looks ok to me. If I saw you by yourself, though, I probably wouldn't know who you were supposed to be. Perhaps if you had an identifiable prop, like the 'mini confessional' or his cross (even a scaled down version), cigarettes, a vash plushie, kuronekosama? I notice you have the white crosses on the sleeves, though - that's a good idea. They're probably just not as obvious, especially if you're moving around. They also look a tad too big - but with varying screencaps, it's always impossible to tell. I also can't tell if your white shirt does the same thing his does in the front... with this type of costume, I think it's the little details that really 'make' it.
Perhaps a short wig, styled like his? Many women have hair that short, (and his isn't really that short - at least, not in front). I do understand wanting to use your own hair, though.
That's all I can really say about it... sorry it's not that much help.
~Anime North 2013 Masquerade Director [Masquerade AT animenorth.com]
~ Anime North 2013 Fashion Show Assistant Director [fashionshow AT Animenorth.com]
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